Online dating is really a roll of the dice. I hate to quote Forrest Gump, but “you never know what you are going to get”. The two of you might have great chemistry in dating app emails and texts, maybe even talking on the phone, but when you meet in person for the first time it is a whole other story. It’s like meeting a pen pal that you have had for a short amount of time where you exaggerated how great your life is and you are about to be called out on it. No matter how well you have been communicating through the site, things change when you are able to look into their eyes.
For men, and I hate to say this because we can appear to be shallow, if we meet the girl and she does not look like her pictures, it’s game over. I wish there was a video dating site online where you could see your future date and check them out. I am sure for women, meeting men that do not look like their pictures is the same deal. But I must say, there are a few women out there that are much more creative than men with taking their pictures for dating sites. They have the perfect angle to take away their double chin or camouflage that they are really 50 pounds overweight. I once met a girl that was ten years older and 100 pounds heavier than the pictures she had on her profile. When trust is broken at the get go, it is tough to come back from it.
With that said, sometimes, somehow, a guy will totally luck into meeting the girl that is a million times better than her profile made her out to be. This is the exact opposite that usually happens, so when this occurs, it is a bit what winning the lottery would feel like I guess. I would say on average, you probably would have a better chance of getting hit by a car than finding the perfect girl online.
But it happens! It happened to me a couple of times and resulted in committed relationships. The girl shows up and she is even better looking than her pictures on her profile. Right away, modesty is a great virtue to have, so one point for her. Then you start talking with them and quickly realize that they are nothing short of sensational. The girl has a career that she enjoys and has her head on straight. She is witty and likes to laugh at your humor as well. It is an amazing feeling to have when you are sitting across the table from this person and thinking that you might have just found your match.
This is when self-doubt starts to rear its ugly head. In the middle of the date, you start questioning if you are good enough for her. By the end of the date, you start to insinuate that there will be a second date and in doing so, you sound a bit desperate.
Below is some advice that will help you from having this unicorn run away and never return:
Ask Her Questions
Too many online dates end up with just two people staring at each other as they snack on some food and make superficial conversation. You can fix this in two ways. You can either start talking about yourself and sound like a person with a huge ego in the process or, you can ask her questions and then throw in your own answers to the question when she finishes. As an example, you may ask her what she likes about her job. You could ask her if she is close to her family. If the date is going well, ask her how her other online dates have gone so far. All of these questions will allow you to tell her about yourself in a roundabout way without sounding like someone who just likes to talk about himself.
Make Eye Contact With Her
Now when I say “make eye contact with her”, I do not mean in an uncomfortable way. Do not stare at her so intently that you scare her off or make her want to mace you. Also, you do not want it to appear that you are trying to hypnotize her at the same time and force her to go on a second date. I’m just saying to make eye contact with your date when you are talking. Too many people stare awkwardly around the room or down at their food during dates where they originally met online. It is tough to communicate with someone that does not look you in the eye. Shifty eyes make for shifty people.
Don’t Sound Like a Serial Dater
Talking about past relationships is tricky. In your quest for a future relationship, do not talk poorly about old girlfriends. In fact, ex-girlfriends are something that should not be mentioned anywhere near the first date. Instead you can just speak in general terms about what you are searching for and why you have not been able to find it yet. Even if you have had 30 unsuccessful online dates already, do not tell her that. She will be labeling you as a player in her mind and write you off.
Compliment Her, But Not Too Much
There is a fine line between complimenting your date on her looks and creeping her out from mentioning how hot she is. Even if she is wearing an extremely tight shirt, try to act like a grownup if possible. Even better, go back and watch some of those movies from the 1950s and 60s where the leading man is someone with manners. A Clark Gable, Gregory Peck, or Jimmy Stewart will do. Try acting a bit like them instead.
Pick Up the Bill
Whether you are having dinner or attending a murder mystery show for your first date, pick up the check for it. If you don’t, you will come off as cheap. If the girl really likes you, she will even say that she will pick up the check on the next date.
Finding the rare perfect girl is not the easiest task in the world. But there are thousands of ladies on online sites waiting eagerly for the perfect guy – and maybe that’s you, all you need is contact!