How to Avoid Online Dating Burnout

Alexa Weeks | 22.10.18 | | Comments

Let’s face it, online dating can be frustrating and disheartening. Countless dates and hours of online chats, and you still haven’t found the one. It’s understandable that you might suffer from online dating burnout. Online dating can be rough, especially when people neglect common courtesies because they’re shielded by a computer screen. To make things more complicated, online dating is changing each year. You may struggle, but with a tough skin and a positive attitude, you can overcome burnout, pick yourself up, and get back in the game.

What is online dating burnout?

Simply put, online dating burnout is a state of mental exhaust from looking for a partner. While online dating platforms have allowed for easier access to the dating pool, dating isn’t what it used to be. In the past, if you hit it off with someone at the bar, you could have a date within a matter of minutes. The downside to online dating is that you might end up chatting with multiple people for weeks before someone even suggests meeting in person. Plus,  there are way more people who are guaranteed not to be a match with than the other way around.

All the extra effort and time it takes to find a date can lead to online dating burnout. According to a survey done by Match, a staggering 54 percent of women felt dating burnout while looking for a partner. Since 70% of people will have met their partner online by 2040, dating burnout probably isn’t going away anytime soon.

Tips for avoiding online dating burnout

Whether it’s a series of miserable first dates or simply being uninspired by the options, sometimes succumbing to burnout gets the best of us. There’s no doubt that a little burnout is healthy. It’s a wakeup call that your mind needs a break and that it’s time to give things a rest. The more you burn yourself out, the harder it will be to bounce back. What that said, it’s better to use the below tips to avoid burnout instead of pushing your limits too often.

Slow down

If you’re using online dating apps every day, put your phone down and take a break. Overusing dating apps will only wear you out and dampen your mood.

Finding love isn’t a race to the finish line, but rather a slow and steady journey that takes patience and commitment. When you’re in a rush to find the “one,” you might settle for people not suited for you. Starting and ending relationships with people who aren’t your type will only throw you back into the vicious cycle of dating burnout. Finding the perfect one takes time, and rushing to find true love isn’t the answer.

Say goodbye to the time wasters

Online apps give you more access to the dating pool, but that means you’ll come across more people that aren’t worth your time. Take notice of people who aren’t serious and only want to play games. This only provokes dating burnout and makes you start to second guess everyone you meet.

Developing feelings for someone only to have them turn around and say they want to be “friends with benefits” is certainly dispiriting. The only way to recognize these types of people right off the bat is to approach them with honesty from the start.

After dealing with a few time wasters, you’ll learn how to tell them apart from the rest. Once you see red flags that someone isn’t serious, don’t give them the time of the day. Time wasters run rampant on dating platforms and the best advice is just to avoid them completely.

Reconnect with friends

When you’re so focused on finding a partner, sometimes you lose touch with the most important people in your life, like your friends. Unlike people on dating apps, your friends have your best interest in mind, and you can trust them with just about anything.

Friends are also the best listeners and the best cure for dating burnout is a vent session. While you shouldn’t talk about your dating life 24/7, a good friend will be there for you and let you release frustration about your dating process.

Keep healthy habits

Be it dating or work burnout, maintaining healthy habits is a great remedy to avoid burnout. If online dating has you frustrated and anxious, working out or exercising outside helps to expel that tension.

Your diet also plays a big role in dating burnout. Junk food full of fat thickens the blood and in turn, makes you feel weak and tired all the time. Similarly, caffeine will keep you up at night and harm your sleep cycle. Eating foods filled with antioxidants, such as fruits and vegetables, boosts your immune system. Since stress weakens the immune system, antioxidants can circumvent that and keep you from getting sick.

Go back to your roots

It’s easy to get caught up with online dating and forget your long-term goals. Think back to your younger days and try to remember your dream partner. Did you long for a family-oriented person or someone overly ambitious? Remembering what you want will keep you from wasting time on people who aren’t meant for you. Reflect on your past and even talk to close family members to remind yourself of the characteristics and traits that you value in a partner.

Don’t take things so seriously

Dating is a chance to connect with someone on an intimate level, try new things, and break free from your comfort zone. Don’t treat dating like a business relationship, because it isn’t. You should enjoy your time with a date just like you would on a night out with your best friend from high school.

Getting heated up over small things that don’t really matter in the long run will only induce online dating burnout. While it might seem cliché, don’t forget to smile, laugh, and enjoy the moment. Dating will open new doors for you, and it’s without a doubt something to be grateful for.

online dating burnout

Change gears

If you’re not having much luck with one app, try switch to a new one. Since a lot of people might just want a one-night stand, you could change things up a bit and opt for a site geared towards long-term relationships like Match. Compare online dating services and find the one that suits you best.

You can even change gears without switching apps. Try searching for people in a larger radius, or adjust the age settings on your app. Instead of swiping on Tinder for an hour before bed, do it first thing in the morning when you are well-energized after a full night’s rest. If you’re one of those people who never want to send the first message, you could try initiating a conversation occasionally, to see how it plays out.

How internet culture contributes to burnout

Unlike in a face-to-face conversation, it’s easy to ignore someone on the internet and block communication with them instantaneously. The disregard for common manners is one of the root causes of online dating burnout. Even after hitting it off with someone, they could simply drop off because they’ve found someone more appealing.

Moreover, “ghosting” has become very common with relationships stemming from online dating apps. Ghosting is when someone cuts off all communication with you, often with no warning sign at all. Since you might never find out why someone ghosted you, it can be very painful. After being a victim of ghosting, many people are skeptical about continuing to date online because they’re afraid of it happening again.

Even if someone seems like a genuinely nice person, there’s still a threat of ghosting. Ghosting, along with the lack of manners and respect on the internet, is a key cause of burnout.

Breaking out of online dating burnout

Don’t let online dating burnout keep you from finding the love of your life. Remembering what you value in a person and avoiding time wasters will keep your mind healthy and happy. If you feel frustrated or overwhelmed, put your phone down for a bit and use that time to work out or rekindle relationships with family and friends.

While the chances of getting burned out while using online dating apps can be pretty high, there’s still a light at the end of the tunnel. Remember, you are choosing to put yourself in a situation where you must be content with yourself and focus on maintaining a healthy mental state so you can pursue a relationship.

Conclusion

Even if you’re at your wit’s end with online dating and on the verge of burnout, it’s important not to lose hope. As you’ve likely heard before, nothing in life is guaranteed, not even true love. Try to change things up a bit and take on a new perspective. This can rejuvenate your mental state and help you clear your mind of burnout. At the end of the day, stay true to yourself and don’t stray from your long-term goals. Remember to maintain healthy habits, reach out to friends, and never take things too seriously!

Using online dating apps isn’t easy, but it pays off when you find the love of your life.  There will be many people who come and go, but with some effort and a little bit of luck, you’ll find one who sticks around.

Alexa Weeks
author

Alexa is a writer, traveler, and self-proclaimed online dating expert from Seattle. From making mistakes, to falling in love, she’s experienced it all. Alexa is here to give you all the tips, insight, and advice you'll ever need in the world of dating and romance.

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