Online dating has overtaken the bar scene as the number one way for women to meet women, and there has been a recent increase in the number of quality lesbian dating sites. In this respect, lesbian online dating is no different than any other dating scene.

Online dating offers numerous advantages over dating in the real world. For a start, it’s convenient and time efficient in a world where everybody seems to be too busy to meet someone new. Additionally, lesbian dating sites are also a godsend for those who live in rural areas or smaller towns and cities with limited opportunities to meet people in person. In places that don’t offer LGBT bars and clubs, you may also find yourself in the awkward predicament of guessing whether an attractive woman in Home Depot is actually interested in women before you get up the guts to go talk to her. Online dating solves this problem by presenting you with single and looking lesbians who live both near and far. You can set the distance parameters however you’d like and feel comfortable knowing that the women in your search results also like women.

If you live someplace with a large and diverse population, it’s much easier to meet other lesbians and bisexual women in real life. The trick then, however, is figuring out who exactly you’re compatible with so you don’t waste time. Online dating can come in handy in this situation too. You can browse through profiles and learn all about someone in a matter of minutes without needing to waste time with a date that’s doomed to go nowhere.  For example, if you have deal breakers like smoking or veganism, you can filter these profiles out.

Plus, why are there always those creepy straight guys who come to LGBT bars and clubs to try to hit on women or to just stare at lesbian couples as if you’re their hetero male fantasy come to life? Ick. Avoid that situation altogether by going online. You’re not performing for anyone.

Online dating is also just plain fun: You can check out women, flirt, and chat – all from your smartphone or computer. No need to dress up or face the cold. It’s something you can do while lazing away the evening on your sofa in your pajamas.

Choosing the Right Lesbian Dating Site

There are a number of online dating sites out there that cater to the lesbian community. Some online dating websites (like Zoosk), while not designed as being just for lesbians, still flourish with single ladies who are interested in the same sex. Other dating sites, however, won’t even let you sign up if you’re a woman looking for a woman. That’s why we developed this page of reviews about which sites are the best for lesbian and bisexual ladies who are looking for love. These high-quality online dating sites offer large communities of lesbians to give you the best opportunities for meeting the woman of your dreams.

Create a Winning Profile

While it may be tempting to skip that long list of questions that pops up when you register for a lesbian online dating site, the truth is that you should fill it out. It will give other users an idea of who you are and whether they want to pursue a conversation with you. If you just start messaging and winking at every profile you see, when that woman checks out your profile to see if it’s worth responding to you, they’ll be met with a whole lot of nothing and may even think your account is a scam or that you have something to hide. Instead, write about your interests, hobbies, and what you’re looking for in terms of a relationship. If you only date femme women, mention it. Be sure to include clear and honest pictures of yourself, ideally both a close-up of your face and a full body picture. Additionally, you may want to include a line that you’re not looking for a threesome. Unfortunately, there are still some straight couples who get the dumb idea that they should message lesbians for a threesome.

Send Thoughtful Messages

Whatever you do, don’t just send a “hey” or “what’s up.” Take the time to read the profile of the woman you’re interested in and send a thoughtful message that will make her want to reply to you. Ask a question in your message that requires more than a yes or no answer to get the conversation going.

Your First Date

With hetero dating, women usually wait for the man to message first or at least suggest a first date. If you’re newly out and just figuring out lesbian dating, know that it’s ok if you make the first move! Be bold and after a few messages and maybe a phone call, ask her out. When you plan your first date, the safest bet is usually to meet in public rather than at one of your homes. After an evening of romance and getting to know each other, another question that commonly comes up with newly out women is, who pays? Generally, the person who suggests the date pays. You can always offer to pay and if your date insists that she’d like to, that’s ok too.

Don’t Rush Things

You know that joke about what lesbians bring to the second date? (It’s a U-Haul, in case you didn’t know). So . . . it’s kind of true. No one knows why, but there are theories. When women connect, they really connect, and it can be so incredibly tempting to rush things. Resist the urge! Try to give you and your partner time to really get to know each other without completely merging your lives right away. While moving in together can sound fairytale good, it also can add a lot of stress to the relationship and makes it that much harder to leave if she isn’t The One. Give it a good 6 to 12 months before you start talking about living together.