23.12.18 | 0 Comments|
Don’t you just love the start of a brand new year? It feels like we’ve been given a clean slate in life. The possibilities for a new and better year seem endless. The new year is a great time to reflect on how the prior 12 months went and decide upon goals that you want to accomplish by this time next year.
If you’re single, you may resolve that this is the year that you’re going to find love. To actually find The One, it will take a little more than just deciding to be in a committed relationship by the end of 2019. Instead, it’s best for you to thoroughly consider what’s gone wrong in the past and any bad dating habits you need to break. Then, make specific dating resolutions that will result in you overcoming those hurdles and finding your other half. Use some (or all) of the following New Year’s resolutions to enjoy a better dating experience in 2019!
Resolve to really put yourself out there during the next year. If your dating calendar has been pretty blank lately, consider why that could be. Perhaps you haven’t been making an effort and have simply been expecting love to fall into your lap. Sign up for an online dating site like Match or use a high-quality dating app like Zoosk. Instead of going home to watch Netflix alone every night, start saying yes to social invitations where you can meet new people. You may even want to mention to a few select friends that you’re looking, and see if they have anyone in mind for you. If you don’t put yourself out there this year, you’re likely going to find your love life in the same condition as it was this year.
One-in-five relationships nowadays start online. That’s a pretty good reason to create an online dating profile if you haven’t already. If you already have an online dating profile, a good New Year’s resolution is to revamp it. Update it with new, recent photos (one study found that wearing a red shirt in your profile picture helps) and change any information that is no longer relevant. Keep your profile upbeat and positive – if you say something like “don’t message me if you’re ugly,” you’re going to come across as a jerk and no one will message you at all. Be honest in your profile about what you’re looking for and who you are as a person. Whatever you do, don’t leave your profile blank!
This is typically a bad dating habit attributed to men more than women. Guys, instead of messaging or swiping right on every woman in the hopes that someone (anyone!) will respond, take the time to actually read women’s profiles. Then, send personalized messages to the ones you really think you could be a good match with. You’re more likely to get a positive response from a woman if she gets a message about what she says in her profile instead of just a DM that says “hey” or “what’s up.” Check out these 20 online dating conversation starters.
This New Year’s resolution is for the ladies. Don’t just sit back and wait for the messages and date invitations to roll in! In fact, one study found that women are 2.5 times more likely to get a reply when they initiate a message to a man versus the other way around. Use this to your advantage and reach out to that cute, witty guy who catches your eye.
While it’s uncomfortable to tell someone that you’d rather not pursue things further, ghosting is a seriously bad dating habit that needs to be broken. It’s childish and rude. Instead of ghosting, when someone you had a date with contacts you for a second date, just say “it was great meeting you, but I just don’t see a romantic relationship in our future.” Then wish them the best of luck. You don’t need to provide a reason – just repeat yourself like a broken record and block them if need be. They will appreciate your honesty and be less hurt and confused than if you had simply ghosted.
While this is easier said than done, getting over your baggage is a must. Holding onto emotional baggage such as feeling like you’re damaged goods, obsessing over your ex, and an inability to trust others will prevent you from forming a meaningful relationship. This dating resolution is a toughie but definitely a must. You may need to employ the help of a licensed therapist in order to overcome past pain that has resulted in you now being unable to form a healthy relationship.
If you’re stuck in a rut and feel like you’re not meeting any good potential mates, this New Year you should resolve to change your routine. Expose yourself to new people and new circumstances. Instead of eating lunch at the same café every day, try somewhere else. If you always go to the gym in the morning, try going in the evening a few times to check out who is there at a different hour. You may even want to try out other houses of worship to see what their membership is like. In other words, you can keep doing the things you love while making a few minor tweaks that can help you meet that special someone.
This good dating habit has two benefits. One benefit is that you’ll learn more about your date. Instead of just talking about yourself, you’ll get a better idea of who your date is. They’ll feel flattered by your questions and attention. Additionally, you’ll discover what your date wants and determine whether you are wasting your time. If your date says he or she isn’t looking for anything serious, believe them. Don’t expect that you can change their mind. Likewise, if you just want a hookup and your date says he or she is looking for marriage, you should be honest about your intentions.
While it’s tempting to Google someone before a date, you should be careful not to move into online stalking territory. Sure, you may want to do a quick search just to make sure they haven’t been recently released from prison for murdering their ex, but that’s where you should probably stop. Don’t friend someone on Facebook or connect with them on any other social media platform before your first date. Similarly, if you initiate a message with someone on a dating website and they don’t respond, don’t assume they just didn’t read your message and attempt to get in touch with them via social media. It’s creepy. Most likely, the person saw your message and just wasn’t interested. Leave it at that.
One New Year’s resolution that can help you achieve your dating goals in 2019 is to start saying yes to people who don’t fit your usual type. That may mean going out with the guy or girl who doesn’t match your typical preference in terms of looks but who sent you an amazing message.
Our lives are often made up of repeated patterns of behavior, whether we realize it or not. Is there something in common among your exes? Do you often date men who seem charming at first and later turn out to be narcissistic abusers, and wonder how this happens to you again and again? Maybe you tend to go after women who are emotionally unavailable or end up cheating on you. In retrospect, we often can see red flags that we shouldn’t have ignored. Remember them, and don’t make excuses when you see them again in the next person you date. It’s time to give someone different from the usual type you date a chance. Maybe “different” is just what you need.
Make 2019 the year that you get your love life back on track with these New Year’s dating resolutions. Whether we’d like to believe it or not, we probably all have bad dating habits that stand in the way of us forming meaningful romantic relationships. Incorporate the above resolutions to overcome those tendencies and find love this year.
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